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A day surfing in the water with the Usuals But Staying Casual

March 3, 2016

Prepared to go out surfing. There are the usuals. When did The Gap and Sharper Image design surfers? Here thjey come for their recreational workout that’s good for their abs. Ah, the 99-dollar costco boards, aznd the couples showing up together. Cute. A guy puts on so much white sun screen on his face he looks like the understudy for Phantom of The Opera. And here come some of the 401ks–the older guys with their second home to enjoy their first childhood in their retirement years because Mommy and Daddy insisted they go to work instead of surf. And now, here they come, walking and smiling and talking about the same topics they talked about on the golf course. Then there are the families who show up with their kids and criticize the surfers who almost hit their clueless children on days these beginners shouldn’t be in the water or at the peak because it’s a family beach–yet, the only ones who say it’s a “family” beach are them, and they came out of nowhere.

And there are those women with the tattoos, walking and glaring at every third person. A few days ago, one of them was going to go out when the surf was 10 to 15 feet. A local said, “Today isn;t really a good vday to go out.” She dismissed him by saying in Millennial speak, “This is my opportunity to go out. And she goes out. Fifteen minutes latyer the currents have taken her way out in the pounding surf break and she’s on her board, panicking and screaming, “Help me, help me!” Someone paddles out to her an d gets her to the beach, where they have to sit for two hours without their iPhones until the tide drops and they can get to the stairs.

The ocean didn’t care about her “opportunity.”

Another clueless who-are-you-to-tell-me-I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing is struggling to get around rocks in front of the stairs and a set breaks his foam board in half. He tried to get up the stairs but he still have his leach on, and the fragment of his board is caught in the rockis. And he gets pounded again, until he finally listens to someone telling him to detach the leash.

But I digress.

I’m out in the water and three times a terrified looking girl on a foam board is in the wrong position and gets in my way and she falls offd her board in front of me, and I also go dowen. I don’t yell or say anything. I can;t see just scrambles away each time and gets in the wrong position again and again, getting in other people’s way.

I paddle for a wave and a guy who is paddling out as I;m paddling in, takes advantage of my blind spot, spins around behind me, and unexpectantly cuts me off and takes the wave.

I say nothing. But he turn paddles back out and turns and see me look at him. He shifts to burn another person and stays away.

Me, I just keep paddling and looking for waves. I don;t care. I will not let them enter my head. I sxee a guy who went so far to the left to get a wave, he is out of position, and so the wave breaks between us and I score a pretty solid screamer down the line.

There is a bit of a lull, A guy comes over to me, He’s on some long, pointy, sponge board and says, “How big is that board.

The guy is wearing a rubber squid lid like it’s a mask. I know he’s going to do something stupid

“It;s a longboard. 10’11”. Big guy big board.”

A wave comes. I go for it. He spins around and paddles righgt next to me and takes off where I can’t drop in the wave. I back off., SInce he can;t surf. He collides with someone else inside. He turns and looks at me. I starrte. He goes off somewhere else to do the same thing to another.

I sit outside waiting for awhile. I see an overweight bearded guy who is called Marty from Pacifica, burning and snaking several people. aggressively near colliding with them, refusing to kick out.

I see a set wave come. This guy Marty furiously paddles out and goes to my left. I’m paddling to get into the wave. He spins around. I think of a lesson Pat Farley​ taught me (“Stand up for what’s righteously yours.”)

I shout in disgust to the guy, “Oh come on!”

This wave is mine. I take off.

The assclown barks at me, and does a flyaway with his board. It meant to scare me. Actually, I didn’t see, it someone on the inside told me he did it. But damn, I was in a nice hot slot, seering pocker, throwing white water behind me and driving cleaning acrosdsd several sections all the way to the shore. But I must confessd, I slipped trying to kick out. But I was stokerd and alughing.

I ended on that and met some friends on the beach and wondered how someone could be so aggressive and think they’re stoked, and miss the point, and I came out just fine.

He still has to go home with himself. And Pacifica, like him, lives in a deep and damp fog.

I stand there in the sunshine. Hal Stanger comes over to me and says, “It was so nice being out there and surfing with you. How many years have we done this.”

“Over twenty,”

“I just enjoy the time we spend together, I was thinking about that and wanted to share that with you.”

“Yeah, I like it too. Thanks for sharing.”

The others can only leave with a wave count and better “abs from a great workout.”

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