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People dragging plugs and surfing for the goodness

January 27, 2015

A good and bad: two surf stories; or should I say, the real and the nice?

Story One (of two, kinda connected)
When I see many people in the lineup who are on surfboards but not surfers in their hearts, I think of people who are disconnected. It doesn’t have to be surfing. It’s the same with life, golfing, driving, family, or work for them. They are people dragging plugs that aren’t connected to anything. They are never plugged in. Their heart might as well be an appliance. They angle and obtain waves, money, or personal contact the same way. No matter how smooth =they are, or the wines they have in storage, or the vacations they take, grandkids, the films they see, or the cars they own, it doesn’t seem to mean anything to them unless it’s in comparison to others, or letting people know about these things (Usually unasked), They try to engage in polite conversations so they can do rude things. But once you redact their stuff, you just get a blank (outside of their inner anger, there is a lot of anger there), you ses nothing subjective generates it’s own light, but needs the light of others to sign in the darkness, they can;t draw on themselves to provide light to others. And I guess surfing brings out this so clearly to me. There’s something about catching a wave that give you a point of view life doesn’t usually give: a moral imperative, and when you see people weaseling their way to get one, instead of achieving it–well, it’s a jarring contrast, and difficult to like them.

There was a guy out there with his wife and two kids. Instead of taking them on the inside, he took them out to the main break. It was a four-foot day with some slightly bigger closeouts, and I could easily see his kids weren’t that good, and his wife seemed like a nice lady who was more concerned about their welfare than he was. SHe was out there with three kids, including him. And he was out there for himself in the guise of being The Dad. But if he was The Dad, he would have given up his waves, and taken the family out of the competitive pressure of the peak. But no! WHy because The Dad Wants To Surf Too! SO there he was, pushing various kids in to waves, scamming the entier family to get the better waves, then after getting in the way of several surfers by making sure HIS FAMILY got waves, then HE WENT . Well, hey, The DAD should know that when he is out there taking three people out there, and getting waves for them, he has lost his three turns. But no, he wants all four rolls of the dice, including taking a set wave and abandoning a couple frightened kids in the outside lineup while they and Mom wait for The Dad to paddle back out,

A revealing moment came, when the slightly shy, polite, and intimidated boy looked at his Mom, clearly surprised that The Dad, took a wave and left them on the outside with another set of waves coming in.

The Mom sighed, “Well, you know your father.”

One of the thwarted, taking what he feels entitled to.

SOme of the best friends I’ve made have been in the ocean. And surf friends are weird too. Most won’t leave the beach, but within their world they’re generous. ANd with some, I’ve kinda had to look the other way, when they weren’t there to drive me to chemo, or recently did nothing for my birthday.They expected me to throw a party for them to come to! There you go! But kindness means seeing the scope of how far people can go within themselves. And you take what you can get along the way. But I have to say, they were all there for me when I struggled with chemo regain my strength, and protected me, and carried my board. But when I sit in the lineup, and then people tell me what the spot is–it;’s a beginner’s spot, you should surf somewhere else if you don’t like it, etc, they are the ones who have just started surfing the place. And every point they make is to justify to themselves one more wave for them, and call you a whiner (when all you’re doing is pointing out, they are following the Gospel of The WOrld According To You, such as according to you, this is a beginning break, according to you, no one owns the ocean, according to you, I don’t have a larger say in anything besides you.Maybe that’s why there’s not one of them I really want to know. And believe me, it’s in my interest to be a schmoozer to get people to buy my books. But I don;t come out there to be false, nor do I open my eyes to be false.

Okay, the nice part. There’s a young girl, who must be in her twenties, thin, on a longboard, who I have seen in the lineup, who doesn’t burn people, backs off of waves that aren’t hers, and is clearly learning to surf.And she doesn;t come out there and start to instant girl bonding thing, which really gets old in the water. I said, “:You know, I’m talking to you, because you give off a kindness.Not that I’m that important. I have seen her a few times. Maybe she was taken aback by what I said, as if I was hitting on her (I wasn;t, not until some body gives me a deal on roofies! HA). So yesterday, I saw her again. And I went for a wave anmd she was on the inside and backed off, and I shouted, “Go and start paddling.” I’ve seen her paddle and she usually gives up too early. “Keep paddling. Now go left to your left. No one is coming down the line. Go left and paddle harder. Don;t stop paddling!”

And then I saw her stand and catch the wave.
Awkwardly trimming across.
She paddled back out, beaming, and I felt a glowing warmth inside me. Sure, I scored a couple good waves out there. But I felt I salvaged some goodness.

She was all stoked.

I gave her some additional advice, which I won’t say here, because it might help some jerk who doesn’t deserve the info to become a better surfer. That’s the one karma for bad people in the water, they may get a lot of waves, but they never really become a better surfer because no one tells them what they’re doing wrong–and besides, on top of that, they think they’re cool and wonderful, which is why they usually lose interest in surfing, and take up something else.

But I created some goodness out there among the unplugged, and gave someone a connection, and got plugged into it with them.

I struggled up the cliff on legs partially numbed from nerve damage I’ver been struggling to overcome from chemo, watched a waves, and left without speaking to anyone else.

Let your surfing to =the talking. Let your life speak for itself. Your comfort zone casts a shadow. I’m looking for a tan, sun, and surf–and light. Always for light., and we all know how hard that is in the hangover of reality.

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