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A session with my favorite analyst: life and a water seance with Dad

October 26, 2013

 

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OK, two years ago I went down south and couldn’t catch waves, something was out of kilter with me, and then I discovered I had cancer. I hadn’t been on a surf trip since that time, and slowly got myself back into shape, even when I was weak and going through chemo, my friends would carry my board down for me and I’d weakly paddle, just to let cancer know I was fighting it. And slowly, still trying to overcome the damn nerve damage from chemo, which is like trying to get over what your family did to you in probate court, meaning it takes years! I went down this time and scored Rincon and Santa Barabara. Surfed all afternoon on Tuesday, all day Wednesday, at uncrowded Rincon. And I got the waves I couldn’t catch, and all I could do is let some tears roll after I caught a wave and paddled back out for another, and whisper to the Great Unknown, “Thank you, thank you.”

I sat on my board and waited for an opening between the wave hogs. I didn’t want to compete. I just wanted to get some waves. Rincon is an iconic spot. And the wave is still there on this crescent beach. You make a turn and the wave unfurls a wall in front of you like your throwing out a cape. I just wanted to connect and surf that magic. And I got my taste.

I paddled out. Here I was, taking my first really full-time break from working on Today Cancer Tomorrow The World, winery work, and just trying to get back into a financial reality .Right now, I’m still unable to find full-time work–even at hospitals to help cancer people–I guess even they don’t want a man in his late fifties who has had cancer twice. It doesn’t bother me, it’s what I have to deal with–a stacked deck!

I float and talked to the spirit of my Dad, “Hey Dad. what do you think.Me out here, surfing. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me Dad.”

Then I felt his presence soak into me. It was in the shape of him sitting in a chair, a history book in his lap, and smiling and his eyes twinkling in pride at some funny remark I said. His strength in my belief in myself, reinforced me again, and I like it soak into me, and huym. I nodded. It said, “You have something son, you will always have something, and you will make it happen for yourself. Everything you’ve done will work for you.”

I nodded and said, “Okay, Dad. I know. I’m not giving up.” Then I laughed.

It takes a specials type of person to end up nowhere by getting there.

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