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Oh, I’m the one who didn’t change…

June 16, 2013

Okay, in the post-world of surviving testicular cancer, and merging with Today Cancer Tomorrow The World, joking that I am the all powerful Testiculess who can take groin shots, and doing whatever I can to get healthy in the sun and scrambling for cash along the shoreline like I’m trying to find shells. I run into refugees fleeing from the reflection of their lives who are blaming me.

There are people in life who can’t pick up a 100 percent Package of Me. In some way, they have come up short. They’ve lowered the rim of achievement in life and lied to themselves they can dunk the ball. And then one day, they realize they never played the game. They’ve never written but criticized. Never performed but heckled. Never had relationships only transactions. And they’re the ones who put on their pilgrim hat and judge me. I sometimes think a few were not hoping, but figured if I died, it would be easier to dismiss me and accept their own shortcomings.They did nothing for me when I was sick, weak, broke, and in need, They are the same people who never visit anyone in a hospital, the same people who come to work sick and give others their cold, the same people who don’t ask anything of anyone else that they wouldn’t demand of themselves (which is usually a trait that makes others around them miserable), the same people who don’t go to funerals because they “prefer to remember the person in life.”

When I somehow get in a situation where I get into a conflict with their behavior, they are offended, don’t apologize and this is how the dialogue goes:

                       Self-center sustaining Idiot:“I’m surprised you aren’t more tolerant after all you went through.”

                       Me: How would you know what I went through when you weren’t there?”

They can’t face that either.

I leave their emotional baggage at the airport and take another flight throughout the day. I leave them to ignore what they misplaced in the their at The Lost and Unfound. It’s too nice day. They can get in my head but not my heart. Sometimes I wonder who’s really the one in remission.

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