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Back in the day when white middle-class kids had to steal in real time

April 14, 2013

Fine, these kids today! They can go online and get to torrent-sites where they can download films, music, and software for free without even leaving their room while their parents are downstairs.

Come on.

What happened to shoplifting? This was stealing in real time. Analog theft. You had to go into a store, wear baggy pants and a heavy jacket. You had to know when the high school girls were working the register so you could change price tags on the merchandise–hell, they didn’t care if you marked a baseball glove down to six dollars, shove seven paperbacks in your crotch, or carried a three foot box out the front door because you obviously paid for it (After all, who would have the balls to blatantly walk out of the store with a large object,?) Hitting a computer key? Where’s the adrenalin rush in that?

And they call themselves thieves as they sit at their keyboards and write domain names created by others like them. Are you telling me as kid who plays Warcraft is a warrior, or plays video games and thinks he’s a tennis player, bowler, or first-person shooter? So now they think they’re criminal. It’s time the kids turn off their computers, go into retail stores, and prove their worth as thieves.

This is just another example in how the digital age has warped kids minds. We have virtual delinquents, instead of hardened ones. They usually take these skills and head Human Resources Department, or takeover radio stations and downsize staff, whereas the true thieves, would get felony raps and have to break into our cars and houses, but at least they couldn’t fire us.

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