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Health Food and Chemotherapy Theory

January 29, 2013

I wonder the health food industry and chemotherapy pharmaceutical firms have conspired to make everything taste bad so it permanently rewires and programs a cancer survivor’s brain to only eat overpriced organic food comprised of yeast and entrées of weird vegetal smears plopped like lizard poop on fat green leaves from a Guatemalan breadfruit tree, then chase it all down with a blender drink of wheatgrass, eggs, and diced salmon. They follow a rehab diet plan eaten by reformed drug addicts and ex-alcoholics joyless pale glutanless vegan zombies because they have abused their body so much they can’t eat anything else with the exception of water and oxygen. Our only hope is if these fanatic develop gills and swim away from us and hope they can get a water polo scholarship. They’re evolutionary nostalgic: they want to go back to the sea. Glub, glub.

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