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The Big C has left the building: The Mask Tumor goes down for the count

June 26, 2012

The CT scan showed no tumor growth, in fact, what was there, shrunk even more. I will always have to be vigilant and enter the ring to make sure The Masked Tumor doesn’t have a chance to rise. But today I’m here to finish what he started.

I charge\ out of my corner into the center ring. The Masked Tumor slowly creeps out. He is weakened. He is stunned. I am thriving. In the last couple bouts, the Masked Tumor threw every dirty punch at me–the nausea, the bleeding, draining my weight,  the catheters. And I took it, crawling on my knees, curled up in pain, hating him, but looking to all the people in my corner and hearing their cheers echoing in my chest and lifting me up–love is a great echo chamber. This is our return bout, which I hope will be his last. And there was the Mask Tumor, shriveled, craving sugar he couldn’t get, disconnected from my blood stream. He cannot raise his arms. Remember me?” I said, leaning and towering over him.He’s struggling for breath as his mask sucks in around the wide mouth that is his face. And I realize he has no head, no nose or ears. He is just a giant ravenous mouth on a neck with arms and legs.And I launch a punch to his face, I pound his stomach, I kick him in the balls. He drops to the mat, dazed, and drops. “How does it feel? You can’t feel. How can nothing feel?” The ref counts to ten and tried to hold up my arm. I push him away and say, “I’m not done yet!” I jump on the Masked Tumor, slamming down until he squeals a loses his shape and flattens. Then I put on the music and dance and repeatedly stomp on his body like I’m putting out a fire as I dance to X’s “Fourth of July” with upraised arms and tears and gasping as my voice cracks and my unsteady legs falter as I try to sing with a dried out throat of exhausted triumph. “You’re dead, you are dead, no mercy for the dead that tries to take the living. Feel what I have felt, turn into what you are. Nothingness. You are nothing. You are the nothing you tried to turn me into.” He is still pulsing but I step and crush each little movement. This deflates him and he loses his black end enlarged mass loses shape. I pounce on him, raise my arms and turn my hands into claws that rake and rip him apart. His body cracking like clay and turning into powder. “No one loves you. You have no friends. You never had parents! You never fell in love, I have love, and I will hurt you with it. You have no motive and now you can’t live without me but I can live without you. Die, die, die you evil soulless thing that passers for living. I’m not letting you up. I’m kicking you when your down.” I rip off his mask and his head comes off within it and I shake out a mass of scar tissue ashes and fling it into the air, dancing and crying out and leaving the ring to the cheers of my friends as I get carried away with their love and support as The Clash sing, “I fought the law,” only I say “I fought the Big C and I won, he tried to make me leave my life, this is the best life I ever had, I fought the Big C, and we won!” The air from the cheers blows the dust of his remains away and I tear up his mask with my teeth and growl and unclench my fists to embrace the world of a successful life!

Today cancer. Tomorrow the world!

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