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Surrounded by Freds and looking at a new life

April 17, 2012

I hang my shaved head and sit with my arms on my knees. In two days I get a CT scan at the Stanford Cancer Center which will determine if the cancer is gone and set the pace for an operation to remove my last testicle and make me a testosterone junkie for the rest of my life. Five months of being tired, weary, sick, and helpless, but supported by a wealth of friends. I find myself recovering and jobless and near broke and in debt just to get back to who I was before all this started. I am visited and surrounded by a variety of Freds. There’s growing up Fred, a wise ass, always supported by his Mom and Dad. There’s the college Fred who streaked through the cafeteria at Ursinus College then transferred to freak school Antioch because he wanted a work-study program to see the US and become a writer. There’s the Fred who worked as a journalist then quit after he got demoted for going a story on how the mayor of a town got into a car accident and the police destroyed the evidence. There’s the Fred who had cancer 25-plus years ago and decided to go to California to do stand-up comedy and surf. There’s the Fred who did stand-up and worked in a surf shop and surf and wrote two insult books. There’s the Fred who decided he didn’t want to move in LA and lose his life and friends and went into radio. There’s the Fred who did radio and wrote four novels and who got laid off. There’s the Fred who worked at a local winery and learned how to make wine and make his own wine.

“Hi guys,” I say. “Well you got me this far!”

And we laugh and do a victory dance with out friends and loves in the scowling face of an indifferent world of the dreamless and practical we will always ignore.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Laureen permalink
    April 17, 2012 6:07 pm

    Hope your scan is clear and beautiful!

  2. mhgaither permalink
    April 18, 2012 4:33 am

    Then there’s the Fred who did my podcast later this year to talk up his latest books. Looking forward to chatting with that Fred. Too.

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