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Intermission from Chemo and getting carved

April 16, 2012

When I wake up I stroke my chin to see if my whiskers are coming back. There is a slight scrape of hair but not enoughMy sense of taste is slowly returning in patches, much the same way your vision gets restored after being zapped with a flash bulb. My energy level is still slow. It can be because of my red blood cell count or the effects of chemo. My mental focus is sharper. but I still have ringing in my ears and I get the chills and have be have the heat on near me. Everything is so tentative. Five months of sick is a long time. Yet, there’s a force that rises up in me, a drive that I’m somehow connected to, perhaps just the spirit of me powering back up. Sometimes I think if you live the right life, a force comes to you the same way interest  comes to a person’s bak account. On the 19th I get a CT Scan at the Stanford Cancer Center, which I hope will be my graduation picture, meaning it will show the tumor is gone. But there’s always the anxiety of what if. What if the scan shows something else? What if I have to go back to chemo? What if there something they missed? And even then, I’m slated for an operation to remove my second testicle, which means I’m down to three.

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