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Big C limbo rock

February 27, 2012

I watch them. Just people doing what they’re doing and involved with whatever they say in the temporary moments. I’m not part of the program. What is the voice that makes the puppet on the strings move and take the stage? And so I wonder. Caught in the grasp of the helpless. Carrying the chemo cross. There are half smiles and tears and friends and support and indifferent doctors who found a way to be heartless and call it professionalism. There are people who will always argue the other side” they’re not all bad, nobody;s perfect… I have no time for equal time. When you’re caught in the limbo between knowing and not knowing. I watch them and I was one of them. And when I break free I will never be one of them again. I’ll be able to float and fly. But I will never be one of them again. It’s like  adding another 88 keys on a piano and wondering what tunes I will play that even I have never heard until my hands touch the keys. I will never be who I was.

I think it’ll be an improvement–or at least a better scenic view even though it’s probably all done with mirrors..

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